If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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