she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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