I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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