I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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