Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
