addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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