I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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