is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize