the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
