Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Boobs speak an international language.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
