It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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