My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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