I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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