Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
