I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
