the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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