he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
