We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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