tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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