i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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