I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
