Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
