I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
