Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
