chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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