Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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