I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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