I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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