You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
