She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
