belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
