I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
