i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
