I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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