they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
