This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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