I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
