If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
