He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
