Banned from zoo.
Again?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize