you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
