So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
