Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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