i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
