Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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