Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
