just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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