can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
