after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
