did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
