Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
