Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you win again, gameday.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
