end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize