Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Who died my cat blue again?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
