Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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