Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
