Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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