Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
zippers are such a cool invention
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
