well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
