why im i the only drunk person in the library?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
