so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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