can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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