Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
